What if you didn’t have to push through every “off” day (for you or your kids) just because the world says you should?
My almost-4-year-old had a really rough morning the other day. The kind where every single thing resulted in a meltdown. Far from her usual morning behavior. Something was off.
But my husband (no shade) insisted that she go to daycare because she has to learn she can’t just stay home every time she has an off morning.
My thought: Why do we accept this as absolute truth? What if we could set up our life the way we want to so that we CAN stay home every time we have an off morning?
The day my daughter reminded me how much we’ve normalized ignoring our instincts
But I dragged her to daycare anyway.
Then at daycare, the biggest meltdown yet ensued. She kept wailing that she was tired and wanted to go home and wanted me to be with her. Again, very atypical for her. My mom heart knew something wasn’t right.
But the (well-intentioned) daycare ladies intervened and attempted to coax her away. They told her “going to daycare is your job, just like I have to be here for my job.” And “sorry but we don’t have a choice – this is what we do on Wednesdays.”
And at that point every single fiber of my body was screaming to pick her up and take her home. This didn’t have to be our normal.
When doing “the right thing” doesn’t feel right
But I didn’t. I pussed out and let the authority figures assure me this was the right thing to do even though I could feel myself letting my daughter down more and more every time she pleaded for me.
They finally pried her off of me and dragged her down the hall screaming while I cried and they assured me everything would be just fine.
And yeah, 10 minutes after I left, she was perfectly fine.
But “fine” isn’t good enough anymore
I’m sure it was the same for me as a kid. I remember the “go to school and if you’re still sick you can come home” mentality from my parents (again, no shade). And go to school I did. I was fine, too.
But now I’m in my 30s and “fine” just isn’t fucking good enough anymore. I’m not going to settle for fine because it’s “normal.” And I definitely don’t want my kids too, either.
I’m angry at myself for pussing out. I wish I would have spoken up and followed my truth better. But alas, the old ways of “be a good girl” and “don’t make a scene” and “listen to the authorities – they know best” won over.
Learning to live your truth in a world that keeps testing it
And I guess this is part of the journey – learning to stand up for your truth when the real world bucks back every chance it gets.
I’m still figuring it out. But now I know what I don’t want to do again. Because I felt like I betrayed my daughter and myself in those moments, and that’s not worth any amount of fitting in or doing the “right” thing or being normal.
I’ve replayed that morning a hundred times since. Not to beat myself up, but to really see it for what it was – another reminder that living differently sounds nice in theory, but it’s hard as hell in real life.
The truth about trusting yourself
I don’t know if you’ve ever had that moment – when you know what’s right, but you freeze because of what’s expected. When every part of you is screaming “this isn’t it,” but you still go along because it feels safer than standing out.
You’re not alone in that.
Because the truth is, the work doesn’t stop once we decide to “live our truth.” That’s actually right when it starts – when we try to live it out loud in a world that keeps testing it at every turn.
We might doubt ourselves. We might feel completely alone in our resolve.
But these moments – the tension, the anger, the ache in our guts – they’re not signs we’re failing. They’re a compass, pointing us back to what we already know is right.
We don’t have to get it perfect.
We just have to keep listening.
Keep learning. Keep going.
XO – Bailee
PS: If you’re looking for a place to get started on listening to your gut and living in your truth, start right here with The Balanced Living Roadmap!
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